No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize