kristin has been a bad kristin
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
