His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Michael Bay diarrhea
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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