I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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