So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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