am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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