And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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