People with herpes should wear stickers.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
