nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize