Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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