They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
