:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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