I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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