KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
