hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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