so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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