Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
