i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
