5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
