Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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