Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize