the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
