Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
