Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize