If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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