actually, I'm a sock model
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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