Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Where is the hickey?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
