Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
