her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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