nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dick very happy bro
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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