On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
