But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize