They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
