I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
