I wanna bring you to show and tell
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
