I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
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WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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