"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
