Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
