did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I will be naked everywhere
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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