i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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