im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
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It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
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Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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