We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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