1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
