Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize