Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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