Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
