Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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