id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
