my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I will be naked everywhere
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
tell me about the fingering
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