Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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