She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
