I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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