I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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