if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
