Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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