you traded sex for a burrito?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
