so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
