It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
