id be glad to
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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