i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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