I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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