I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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