We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
