Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Found your dick twin last night
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
