Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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