She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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