just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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