We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
