So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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