i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
