so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize